At the supermarket, one set of doors is flanked by two large ladies squatting on folding chairs, who have shamelessly brought their children with them to elicit donations. The money is stored in old ammunition boxes. The other doors have the Salvation Army guy with the bell, who has seen me several times but is afraid to speak to me above a mutter, I suspect. He has a limp... a cloven hoof, perhaps. After I came out, I was bracketed by a couple of Mormons (crewcuts, white shirts, black ties) while I'm on the ground, trying to get a water jug into my backpack. Completely shameless. The kind of second-string bullies from high school who would have taunted me, but didn't have the balls to use their fists.
The conversation went roughly like this:
"Hi, we're from the Church of Latter-Day Saints. Have you ever talked to any of our representatives before?"
"Yes, I have."
"Have you given any thought to God before?"
"...yes, I have, actually. In fact, I'm sure I'll be thinking about God the rest of my life."
They seemed bemused by this. "Have you thought about what God's plan is for you?"
"I've given it some thought, yes. But how can any mortal really know the mind of God?"
"What if there was a prophet living today who could bring you the word of God?"
"Yeah, but how would I know? How would I tell?"
Pause. "God would tell you."
"If God wanted me to hear Him, I'd know it. I don't know it. See ya."
The pie I finished up yesterday had a Bible verse imprinted (or beaten) into the bottom of the pie tin.