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Entry 6-20-05
Starting over.

I stopped taking hormones because of what they did to my mind.

My research prior to beginning hormone treatment indicated that mood swings were a possible side effect, and I braced myself for this result. What happened was exactly the opposite. I became emotionally flat. I was very calm, I didn't anger or get excited, I could take or leave pretty much anything. And it became easier for me to interact with strangers, and generally speak my mind. So I became worried, that I would turn into a contented little worker bee, and never seriously pursue my world-domination goals because I was too relaxed and, well, happy.

Also, I was getting flabby.

There were also the expected problems with erectile dysfunction, but that honestly didn't bother me much. I was kind of pleased to not have so much of my spare time absorbed with masturbation. Some people have heroin; I have beating my meat.

But looking back on what I've written, I notice an interesting correlation. It was three months into the hormone treatment, when it had really taken hold of me, that I started writing the journal, and it was while I was still taking hormones or under their influence that I wrote most of the key material. There were fine sections written later, but they didn't flow naturally from me; I had to struggle.

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