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Entry 1-31-04
I am your dirty little secret.

It was only tonight that I noticed a pattern. Of the three serious relationships I've been in-- the ones I consider serious, where I felt really strongly about who I was going with --the other person didn't want anyone to know we were seeing each other. Anyone who wasn't, by circumstance, privy to that information was not informed.

The first explanation which comes to mind is that I'm an embarrassment. A secondary hypothesis is that they were embarrassed of their feelings for me, and a tertiary one is they were embarrassed to be in an uneven relationship where I was so obviously enamoured of them. I don't know how true any of these are, but it's an interesting pattern.

I can't recall any relationships I've been in where I didn't want anyone to know, at least while it was going on. Maybe there were and I find them forgettable.

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