'Travel in Sumatra can often be a memorable experience and far more amusing in retrospect than it is at the time. The ferry ride between PakanBaru and Tanjung Pinang is a bit like the novel _Heart of Darkness_. If you've seen the movie _Apocalypse Now_ and recall the journey upriver in search of Kurtz you'll have a good idea of what it's like - but at least no one's shooting at you. The trip takes you across the Straits of Melaka, through a vast malarial swamp via the wide, brown and greasy Siak River lined with grotesquely twisted mangroves, and past small villages and logging camps lit by fireflies and kerosene lamps.
'There are a few things you should know about the boat. Firstly, a 'cabin' does not constitute a private room with a lockable door and a bet. It's a wooden platform constructed on stilts about a metre from the deck. Each cabin is indicated by a number at one end and is separated from the next by painted lines on either side, or perhaps low wooden dividers. However, if you get a cabin you should consider yourself lucky as the rest of the passengers have to squeeze themselves into a foetal position to find enough space of the deck to sleep. With a bit of nimble footwork, you can avoid stepping on bunches of bananas, bags of pineapples, packets of nuts, abskets of beans or other fruit and vegetables that are festooned along the top of the boat, or on a prone body.
'The din of the boat's engine is deafening but it seems like the hush of a monastery once the music begins - your ears will take days to adjust. To add to the discomfort, they seem to have a very limited selection of tapes to play. But whatever the decibel level and however dubious their taste in music, at 5 o'clock the faithful - usually women - turn to Mecca and chant their prayers.
'The two toilets at the prow of the boat are occupied for the entire trip so you must be prepared to spend hours balanced precariously with legs crossed waiting your turn. Though cramped and grotty, they're not as sordid as many toilets you'll be forced to use in Sumatra as their design is a simple, but effective, hole in hte planks and you can see straight down to the river below. Watch where you put your feet as some of the people's aim is well off the mark.
'The musky smell of clove cigarettes eventually becomes heavy and cloying and when it rains it will be your turn to pray. Pray that hte wooden shutters or canvas blinds, the main protection from the elements, have not rotted away entirely and that they can be yanked across or let down. Otherwise you can add sodden bedding to your discomfort. Lastly, you will have to accept that you are likely to be the only Westerner on board and will be harried with the usual 'What is your name? Where are you from? Where are you going? Can I practise my English?' questions until you are heartily sick of it.'
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